


Looking for Someone

by scifishipper



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003), Haven - Fandom
Genre: M/M, Male Bonding, a little friendship a little romance, crossover of the strangest type, loneliness and sex, lots of handwaving about BSG settlement on Earth II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-24
Updated: 2014-03-24
Packaged: 2018-01-16 21:45:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1362841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scifishipper/pseuds/scifishipper
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A stranger comes looking for someone who isn’t quite Kara.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Looking for Someone

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a prompt over at BSG_Kink [LJ]: "Lee/Nathan, left behind". It's an unlikely cross, but I was taken with the losses both men experienced and thought they might bond. 
> 
> Set on Earth II (BSG post-canon)  
> Haven: Between S3/S4

Lee had finished his cabin more than six months ago, not long after the settlement had been laid out by Earth’s new settlers. Now though, as the cooler weather passed into the Scorpia Valley, the chill inside the cabin had been leaving him shivering in the early hours before sunrise. The clothing he had was uncomfortable and would be barely enough to keep him warm if the temperature kept dropping. The supplies from the Fleet were meted out according to need, and a single man, even one who’d once been President, didn’t rate more than a blanket and the clothes he’d brought from Colonial One.

He emerged from his cabin just after dawn, wearing tanks, a t-shirt, a sweatshirt, and his duty blues, which barely buttoned over the layers. The laces of his boots were loose at the top and snapped against his legs as he walked towards the town center. The weeds had eroded along the path he usually walked, down a short slope and around a thicket of trees which buffeted the wind. Other cabins came into view, details emerging as he moved closer. The faces of his neighbors were familiar now, but it was still early enough that few were out in the chilly damp air.

The walk to town was short, only about ten minutes, and he walked fast enough to generate body heat. By the time he got to the cluster of common tents, he had peeled off his blue jacket.

“Hey, Lee,” Louis Hoshi said, emerging from the chow tent. “Up early this morning.” 

“I was freezing. Thought I’d get an early start. Wanted to see about bartering for some warmer clothes, maybe another blanket. 

“Don’t have a stove in your cabin?” Louis zipped his jacket and glanced over Lee’s shoulder. 

“After the fire last week, I’m wary of having a fire inside. Saul said that there were a few people who were trying to make stoves, but families have to come first. I’ll wait.” Lee shrugged his shoulders and made a step towards the chow tent. “Don’t think anyone expected the weather to get cold so quickly.” 

“Live and learn, right?” Louis gave Lee a brief smile. “I’ll see you later.” 

“Yeah.” Lee ducked inside the tent and took a plate, heaping on a pile of fruit and a vegetable-based protein. They’d done well with the farming, and so far, everyone could be fed. It might change if a harsh winter came. 

As the day wore on, Lee worked side-by-side with the other settlers, most whom he’d gotten to know over the past eight months. A mixture of men and women and a few families, it seemed that this end of the settlement was quieter, with an older crew than the southern, Aquaria Village, where a lot of children played among the oversized rocks; it was a natural playground. It surprised Lee how eager the people had been, how they dug in immediately and had built things up in a matter of months. Made his chest swell and ache at the same time. He should be glad to be alive, but the losses still lingered. 

Like he always did, Lee shook himself and went back to chopping wood along the northern edge of the common area. Stacks of logs needed to be shaped and evened out to use for cabins. Lee had come to enjoy the meditative rhythm of the chopping, not thinking, just swinging the axe and watching rough logs take shape. As the morning passed, the other workers headed off for the midday meal, but Lee stayed, grateful for the solitude.

As he worked, the sun began to heat his neck and he peeled off his t-shirt, leaving his arms bare, tanks revealing thick knots of muscles in his arms and back. Felt good to work, good to breathe crisp clean air and contribute something concrete to the cause. No more pushing papers or giving orders. 

“You gonna keep going?” A low voice sounded from behind him.

Lee glanced over his shoulder. It was a man he’d never seen before, tall and thin with blue eyes and a slightly hunched-over posture.

“Chopping wood? Yeah.” Lee dragged another log onto the chopping block.

“No, I mean stripping.”

Lee froze and turned, sussing out the guy’s face. He must have looked surprised because the man laughed and stepped forward. 

“I’m Nathan. Just walked over from Acheron.” His grip was strong and Lee grinned, squinting into the sun as he looked up at him. The man looked startled for a moment, eyes growing wide, then he blinked and let go of Lee's hand.

“Good to meet you, Nathan. I’m Lee.” Lee rested the top of his axe on the log. “What can I do for you?”

Nathan rubbed his hand on his pantleg and hesitated before he answered. “Nothing much, just checking things out. Haven’t met too many people yet.” Nathan shrugged, the side of his mouth quirking up. 

“I feel like I’ve met everyone at least once,” Lee answered. “Haven’t seen you around, though. Were you one of the separatists?” Lee swallowed, remembering the early days when a group of settlers objected to living with cylons. Went off by themselves and hadn’t had much interaction since.

“Wouldn’t say that exactly.” Nathan scuffed his boot on the ground and dug his hands into the pockets of a pair of tight-fitting jeans.

“Hmm,” Lee murmured, not quite sure what to say next. “Well, you want to give me a hand? I was planning to finish that pile by dinnertime.” Lee gestured towards a stack of chopped-down trees with branches and leaves sticking out at all angles. 

“Sure. What do you want me to do?” Nathan stepped towards the pile.

“The idea is to strip the branches off and toss them into that pile there. Chop the trunks into pieces about this long and stack them there. I’ll shape them, so they can be used for cabins. Leave the leftover pieces there.” Lee pointed and Nathan nodded, grabbing the other axe and beginning to work. Lee watched for a minute, feeling like something was out of place. 

Two hours later, the work was complete and Lee scraped his forearm against his face to wipe the sweat away. “Nice work, Nate. Can I call you Nate?”

“Nathan, if you don’t mind.” Nathan pulled the edge of his t-shirt up, wiping his face with it. He was fit, with taut abs and a thin waist. Lee still can’t imagine he’d never met him. He’d been with Hoshi and Romo and the others when they distributed the inventory and made the maps. 

“What did you say your last name was, Nathan?” Lee asked, pouring water into a metal cup and handing it to him.

“Wournos. Nathan Wournos.” He drained the cup and held it out for more. He watched Lee like he was waiting to speak. 

Lee took a page out of his father’s book. “Got something on your mind?” 

Nathan laughed. “That obvious, huh?” 

“A little.” Lee finished his own water and put the cup down. Nathan did the same.

“Heard something, a rumor, I guess.” 

“What kind of rumor?” Lee asked. He moved a bit, grabbing up his t-shirt, sweatshirt and blue jacket.

“Heard there was a blond woman here. That she disappeared and no one knows where she went.”

Lee froze, breath caught. He twisted up his duty blues in his fist. Wasn’t something many people mentioned to him.

When he turned, Nathan was staring at him, eyes narrowed. “Your reaction tells me it’s true?” It was more a question than a statement.

Pulling on his t-shirt, Lee fought for a way to answer. He still hadn’t made peace with it. “I, uh…” 

Nathan interrupted, “Look I don’t wanna intrude, but I’ve been looking for someone. She goes by a lot of different names.”

Lee managed a strangled smile. “I doubt it’s her. You’d know her. Scourge of the cylon raiders…” He remembered the taunting and jokes a hundred times over during the war. It made the blood rush in his ears.

A faint smile played on Nathan’s lips. “Sounds like she was important to you.” 

Lee sobered and turned away, unable to answer. He yanked his sweatshirt on again, ignoring that it was too hot to wear. “Listen, I’ve got to go. Talk to Louis Hoshi. He keeps the birth and death records. He’ll help you find her.” Lee started to walk away. “And thanks for the help.”

He could sense Nathan moving, heard a mumbled something behind him. What Lee felt was hot and burning in his throat, a feeling he’d managed to keep down for a couple of months now. By the time he reached his cabin, his jaw ached and he was breathing hard. 

“Frak,” he shouted, throwing his clothes onto his pallet before he slumped down onto it. Before he could even take off his boots, tears were streaming down his face. He kicked them to the other side of the small room, fell back and closed his eyes.

Lee woke with a start to the sounds of pounding on the cabin door. The light had dimmed outside and he rubbed his face. “Hold on a sec,” he called out and shook his head to clear away the sleep.

Blinking, he pulled open cabin door. Nathan stood in the grass a few feet away. “Hey, sorry. Wanted to apologize for cornering you this afternoon. Didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” 

Lee let out a huff of air and rubbed at his jaw, feeling the scruff of a few days without shaving. “It’s okay. Shouldn’t have run off like I did. Things are still hard from the war, you know?” Lee suppressed a yawn. 

“Yeah…” Nathan glanced around and took a few steps back. He squinted and looked around the exterior of the cabin. “You did nice work here. Had our share of log cabins where I grew up. A little rough, but she’ll hold up.” 

Lee relaxed. “Thanks. We had a few carpenters and builders who survived and they drew up simple plans. I used to be a city kid, but hell, I commanded a battlestar, figured I could build a cabin.” Lee slapped the doorway with pride. Truth was, he’d thrown more than a couple of tools trying to get the wood to even out and settle. In the end it had been worth it. It felt like home.

“Oh, frak. I’m rude. Why don’t you come in. It’s small, but there’s room for two. Can I get you a drink?”

Lee stepped inside and lit one of the lanterns on a small table he’d built the month before. The chairs weren’t more than planks with legs, but they worked. 

“Thanks, Lee. I’m not intruding?” Nathan ducked down to walk inside.

“No, have a seat.” Lee moved around, seeing his cabin through a stranger’s eyes, and picking up the boots he’d kicked across the room. The ache seeped into his chest again. 

He poured some of the so-called ambrosia into a plastic cup and handed it to him. “Don’t know what you make in Acheron, but this stuff will strip paint.” Lee took his own familiar glass, taken from Colonial One, and filled it halfway.

Nathan extended the cup and raised it. “To the ones who left us behind.” Nathan frowned, eyes seeming just as sad as Lee’s.

“Bottoms up,” Lee responded and they both drank.

Lee ventured first, more curious now than surprised like he’d been before. “So, who are you looking for? I’ll try not to run away when you tell me this time.” Lee smiled wryly.

“Well, when I knew her, her name was Audrey. Turns out, she’d had a couple of names: Lucy, Sarah…others. I don’t know.”

“What do you mean other names?” Lee leaned over to grab his green jacket off his pallet and shrugged it on.

Nathan frowned into his cup as he took another drink. “It’s a complicated story which I haven’t really told anyone. Was asking some questions, wondering if a woman had come and then disappeared. A couple of people piped right up. Mentioned you.”

“Couple of people, who?” Lee asked.

“Guy they call the Chief. Said I should talk to you about it. I asked him some questions, he just said it wasn’t his story to tell. Thought it was strange, but here I am.” Nathan drained his cup and gestured for more. “You mind?”

“No, go ahead. So, Chief only made it to Acheron. Thought he was going to the mountains.” Lee chuckled. He missed they guy, even if he did turn out to be a cylon. He’d been a good friend for a lot of years.

Nathan looked expectantly at Lee. “So, you mind telling me what happened?”

Lee heaved a deep breath. “Not that much to tell. I loved her for a long time, but we could never make it work. She was wild and brave, took chances with everything. Well, except me. I thought when we made it to Earth, we’d have a chance.” Lee shook his head at the oncoming words. “But then she disappeared. I mean, literally, disappeared. Said she was done here and I turned around and she was gone.” 

Lee raised his eyes and met Nathan’s gaze, sad and unexpectedly comforting. Nathan leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table. “Never thought I’d meet someone who’d know what it feels like. To have the woman you love just disappear.” The wind outside rolled down the hills of the valley, echoing against the sides of the cabin.

Nathan leaned back again, let out a breath. “Audrey went with a little more fanfare, inside a barn that cracked and broke and disappeared. Violently. But I knew she wasn’t dead. Even knew it might happen, but never believed it would.” Now it was Nathan’s turn to shake his head, sadness pulling his brow into a deep furrow. “And now I’m here in a place I don’t even understand with a bunch of people talking about Greek mythology, someone called the cylons, and an apocalypse. I have no idea what’s going on.” 

Lee couldn't help but smile a litte; it was a crazy tale. And while Nathan’s words didn’t make much sense, but he knew they were true. Kara’d come back from the dead and she had been different. Somehow, Lee had known, too, just like Nathan, that she’d leave. 

“I think I let her go. What if I’d have tried harder, you know?” Lee gave Nathan a questioning glance. “What if I’d have grabbed onto her or begged her to stay. Maybe she’d be here and I wouldn’t be living in the woods by myself like some hermit.” Lee managed a self-deprecating smile as he looked around his small cabin.

“Wouldn’t’ve mattered. I did try to stop Audrey, begged her not to leave. She went anyway, said she had to.” 

Neither man said anything for a while, and Lee listened to the wind as it howled stronger through the trees. Soon the tapping of rain sounded on the roof. Nathan stirred on his stool. “I wonder if my Audrey and your, what was her name…?”

“Kara.” Lee’s voice was hoarse. He hadn’t said her name for a long time.

“I wonder if my Audrey and your Kara were connected somehow? I mean, I got here through Wayne Markham, a local psychic who was troubled. Didn’t know it at the time, but when he read my palm, he said Audrey’s name and the next thing I knew, I was in a field. Wandered for a couple of days until I found Acheron. Kept a low profile, guess that comes from police work, and got the lay of the land. Wasn’t like it had been the first time I’d ended up in a strange place because of a troubled person.” Nathan smiled faintly and Lee found himself fascinated. Meeting a stranger with a story weirder than his had to mean something.

“You seem to fit in,” Lee said, pouring more alcohol into both cups.

“I was hoping I wasn’t going to get stuck here, but I haven’t found a way out. Nothing is familiar….” Nathan’s voice trailed off and Lee raised a questioning brow.

Nathan gave a sheepish smile. “Well, there’s one thing, but it’s going to sound really weird.”

“Weirder than popping into existence on an empty planet with the survivors of an apocalypse and a bunch of human-looking robots? Go head, try me.” Lee’s eyes twinkled with humor.

“Right.” Nathan chuckled and gave a firm nod. “Well, the troubles, that’s what we call them anyway. They’re like supernatural powers. Sometimes they’re small, but other times, the people who are troubled kill people. Pretty often they don’t mean to, but sometimes… Well, it’s my job as sheriff, like my dad before me, to help the troubled stay safe from people who want to kill them.” He glanced at Lee. “Following?”

Lee nodded. 

“Anyway, I’m, well, I’m troubled, too. Since I was a kid. I can’t feel anything.” Nathan gave Lee a baleful look.

“You mean you don’t feel something when you touch it. Like that cup?” Lee leaned forward, staring at the way Nathan’s finger curled around the cup, his pinky finger underneath. 

“No, not just that. I mean nothing. I’ve been shot, stabbed, burned, hit in all kinds of ways, even broken bones, and didn’t feel anything.”

“Frak…” Lee muttered. He couldn’t imagine it. 

“Well, I didn’t feel anything except Audrey…” Nathan gave him the strangest expression. “And now you.”

Lee’s eyes grew wide and he leaned away from Nathan. “What do you mean me?” 

“I mean that when we shook hands earlier, I felt your hand. That never happens to me, Lee. Since I was a kid, I haven’t been able to feel anyone’s touch except for Audrey’s. And now yours. I don’t understand it, but it’s true.” Nathan grabbed Lee’s forearm. “I can feel that. The fabric is cool and smooth, like it’s been worn for a long time. When I shook your hand, I could feel the dampness and the dirt against my palm. I don’t understand it, but I have to know what it means.”

Lee glanced down at Nathan’s fingers wrapped around his arm. He didn’t feel threatened, just…curious. “I don’t know what it means, but maybe it’s us, humans. Can you feel other people?”

Nathan let go of his arm and grabbed up his cup again. Lee’s arm missed the warmth. “No, I tried. Was one of the first things I did when I introduced myself. Thought maybe this place would be different, but it wasn’t. Although for a while, I didn’t even know you weren’t the same humans from where, or when, I am from. For all I know, I’ve gone back in time or ahead in time, or into some other dimension. It doesn’t make sense at all.”

“Okay, slow down,” Lee said, leaning forward. “So, you could only feel Audrey in your world. What was it called?”

“Maine. I mean, Earth. It was Earth. Same name that you call this place.”

“Right.” Lee’s mind spun out the possibilities and derailed him from his original statement. “Anyway. I don’t know. This is so strange. And I thought I’d seen a lot of strange things that couldn’t be topped. But that's some story...” Lee blinked and shook his head in wonder. 

“I’ve seen so many strange things. Guess that’s why I’ve been able to cope for the past couple of weeks. Things have a way of working themselves out in my world.” Nathan said, glancing up as the rain began to come down harder. “Love a good thunderstorm. Reminds me of home. Also, snow. Does it snow here?”

“No idea? Hasn’t yet, but it is getting colder. This is supposed to be pretty temperate, not too hot, but with some seasons. Haven’t been here for a full rotation, so we’ll see.” Lee was surprised at how easily they fell into conversation. He realized that it was refreshing to talk to someone who didn’t know him, didn’t know about his dad or “Apollo,” or Pegasus, or the other hundred things anyone could have learned about him from the wireless over the years. 

“I guess Audrey isn’t the woman who was here and then vanished. Something’s going on, with me being able to feel you and all, but you’re clearly not a woman who used to be Audrey or Sarah or Lucy.” Nathan grinned and Lee chuckled.

“No, not last I checked.” Lee drained the rest of his glass, feeling better for the conversation, and really glad this stranger had come into his life.

Nathan did the same and then wiped his hands on his jeans. “Well, I guess I’d better head back. It’s a bit of a walk and I’d rather go while the lamps are lit along the main pathways.” He smiled at Lee and stood. “Thanks for the drink. And for listening.”

Lee stood, too, and regarded Nathan, the way his shoulders sloped as he bent to avoid scraping his head against the ceiling, the brightness of his blue eyes, the similarities he felt, a connection that he didn’t really want to parse right now. Or let go.

“Why don’t you stay. Can’t offer much in the way of blankets, but I have some extra clothes. This jacket might fit you…it’s big enough.” Nathan was a good six inches taller than Lee.

“You sure? Don’t want to impose.” Nathan seemed suddenly shy.

“I’m sure. I’m glad for the company. Guess I have become a bit of a hermit out here.” Lee moved the table to the side of the cabin and pulled over a thatched rug. “I can stuff some of my other clothes into a shirt so you have some kind of pillow.”

“Thanks, Lee. I appreciate it.” Nathan reached out to touch his shoulder, eyes growing wide again, and squeezed. When he didn’t let go, Lee put a hand over his.

Lee spoke quietly, “I can’t imagine not feeling anything. And how it must feel when you can.” Nathan’s fingers were warm against his palm.

“It’s overwhelming.” Nathan’s voice was rough as he stared at their connected skin. Suddenly, he ripped his fingers away.

“I’m sorry. Maybe I’d better go. You’re straight, I know. I…I am just messed up. Duke… I should go,” Nathan stammered and turned and Lee heard the zipper of his jacket pulled sharply up. 

“Nathan, wait.” Lee stepped forward. “You don’t have to. It’s okay.” Lee waited when Nathan paused at the door. When he turned around, Nathan’s face was pinched. 

“Okay meaning, it’s okay that I touched you? Okay that I stay? Okay that I am stranded on this fucked up planet and I don’t know a goddamned soul except that I can feel you?” Nathan’s voice pitched higher, more desperate as he rambled on with questions.

“All of it. It’s okay. Listen, sit down. Have another drink. We’ll figure it out.” Lee recognized the confusion, the bewildered feeling of everything being stripped away. Nathan hadn’t held together as well as he’d described. 

“I can’t stay here. It’s too much. I am just really freaking scared and I have no idea what to do.” Nathan splayed long fingers out in front of him, eyes begging for Lee’s help. 

“Okay, Nathan. Okay.” Lee stepped forward and grabbed both of his hands. “If you can feel me, then hold on. I’m right here and I’m not leaving.” Lee led him over to his pallet, not quite sure what he was doing or why, but for once it felt good to just feel.

Nathan nodded mutely and followed Lee, slumping down beside him on the makeshift bed. “You sure?”

Lee squeezed his hands, still clutching his tightly, and then released one of them. He put his hand on Nathan’s face and turned it towards him. “Yeah. I’m sure. Can only live so long without touching someone, right? Maybe I've always been able to feel, but it’s been a long time, Nathan. Too long.” Lee leaned forward and kissed him on the mouth. 

Nathan didn’t hesitate, but grabbed Lee’s head and jaw, and crushed their mouths together. Lee responded by pulling at Nathan’s shoulders, tasting the alcohol in his mouth, searching for skin he could touch. Lee was as touch-starved as Nathan, reveling in the way Nathan explored his hair and skin and pulled away to trace the lines of his face. Lee didn’t shy away, had been with men before and Nathan was gorgeous.

Lee and Nathan took their time at first, with gentle exploration, murmurs of reassurance, maybe some tears that neither would own. Lee finally pushed Nathan back onto the pallet and stripped off his clothes, lips moving where skin appeared, tasting and licking until Nathan pulled him down to lay on top. They touched everywhere, peeling Lee's clothes away clothes until both were eventually nude, with their groins pressed together, fingers wrapping around each other’s dicks until Nathan let out a low moan. “I’m close, Lee. I can’t believe I lasted this long.” 

“Let it go, Nathan. I’m here.” Lee moved his hand faster until Nathan bucked beneath him, his face going slack with pleasure. “Oh, god. Fuck,” Nathan said, his face muffled in Lee’s shoulder. He dug one of his hands into Lee’s back while the other pulled at Lee’s erection. 

Lee gasped, feeling the pressure building, and kissed Nathan hard, scraping his tongue against the man’s scruff. Lee groaned as the pleasure swept through him, coming hard onto Nathan’s stomach. “Frak,” was all he said and then let his forehead drop onto Nathan’s chest.

They laid quietly, catching their breath until Lee’s skin chilled. He pulled the blanked from the bottom of the bed and dragged it over them. From near the bed he found a towel and offered it to Nathan. “We’re going to have to put some clothes on, or by morning we’ll be freezing.”

“Yeah,” Nathan said, reaching for the discarded pile next to the pallet. They sorted them out together, skin still touching skin, until they were mostly covered. Lee slid his knee over Nathan and covered them with the blanket. Nathan kept his one hand wrapped around Lee’s fingers and the other touching his neck, curled under his jaw to touch as much skin as he could. It felt good and right. For a long time, they didn’t speak and Lee listened to Nathan’s strong heartbeat under his ear. For the first time in a week, Lee didn’t get cold in the night.


End file.
